I may just stop.

I’m tired of writing and choosing my words carefully. I’m tired of not being able to be myself on “MY” blog because I don’t want to offend anyone past or present or cause anyone to say, “Is she writing about me”?

I don’t want to be writing for anyone but myself. I know you may say, so write for yourself and who cares what anyone thinks. I care. Because I don’t want to intentionally be cruel to anyone or make them feel less than perfect. No matter how strong and confident someone seems on the outside we all have our insecurities. I have had a wonderful and rough year. I have written about things and alluded to things but every time I do I see some sort of rebuttal. I’m tired of it.

I wrote a blog yesterday just wanting opinions from others on the subject. But, only my friends read this and I wasn’t going to get the feed back I was interested in. So, I deleted it. I deleted it because it made people uncomfortable. That’s not why I am here. I don’t know why I am here. lol I should just keep a journal. Maybe that’s what I will do.

I’m ready for the new year. A new start and new traditions.

I need…

A sexy pair of red high heels. Not a pinkish/red high heel. A f*ck me now red high heel… Go find me the perfect pair!

These are not "The One"

Like I said…

I do love this season but candy corn will be the death of post baby not yet there figure! lol I can’t afford to go the wrong direction!

Damn you candy corn!! Why must you be so delicious?!

 

I love this season!

It’s October 4th and I am happy for that. I love the crisp scent of the October air. There is no other smell like it. I love that I get to wear scarves every day. It is my FAVORITE accessory. I love leggings and boots with sweater dresses. Yes, this is my season!

Next weekend I get to spend an entire day with my favorite people. Carving pumpkins, eating dinner, going through a haunted corn maze (I love those!), than pretending to watch a scary movie. I do NOT love those and will do everything I can to get out of it somehow. I’m excited for our day of October themed fun! Then another dinner party sometime soon. Later this month I hear, Fall themed. The last one was the most fun I have had in I don’t even know how long. I seriously laughed my butt off all night. It was a hilarious evening. Then HALLOWEEN! Which I am usually very excited for but for some reason this year it isn’t blowing my skirt up. It is a lot of work and money to get dressed up every year and it’s hard to decide which parties we will go to when people usually plan them on the same day! Dang it.

Before I know it, it will be November. Then December and my niece will be born. I can’t wait for that! Then Christmas. My goodness… This season always fly’s by.

Now… Ugh… I am emotional. I have my monthly friend to blame for that I am sure. I just feel worn out, run down, and sad. I had the greatest weekend. Friday nights dinner party was seriously marvelous. Honestly the best time. But, I still can’t help but feel like life is never going to be easy now that the group has been divided. It is hard on everyone involved when a group function is thrown and people have to worry about who to invite or who will show up. It’s exhausting having to monitor what you say in order to avoid offending anyone. Or, more exhausting wasting your time wondering where you stand with mutual friends. I cannot tell you how much I wish things were the way they were 3 years ago. Aside from my amazing family which I of course would never trade for anything. I just wish friendships stayed the same or at least grew in the same direction. Why is it so hard to grow as a person and still hold onto friendships? It’s a rhetorical question really because I know the answer’s. At least the ones that apply to my own situation. But, it is still sad and frustrating to think about how life has changed. Then on the opposite side of the coin it just pisses me off to think about how things have happened and if I stay angry about the way I have been treated and the things that have been said about me I don’t get sad. But, it is exhausting to stay angry too. There is no easy answer. I wish I didn’t have feelings. I wish I wasnt emotional. But, I am female and it is in my genetic make-up. Ba-humbug! I am still so angry and at the same time I am still so hurt. But, I can’t talk about it because it has been talked to death. I can’t cry about it because I have no one to cry to.

Moral of this stupid post is I am having a bad day. I am angry and hurt. I want to go home, read my book and eat soup!

What Could be Better than A Dinner Party?

A Mexican Fiesta dinner party with all your closest friends! Oh yes, we’re doing this! Let the first of the dinner parties begin.

I am so excited to have our first of many dinner parties! We will be doing these as often as we decide I guess. Monthly? Bi-Monthy? Who knows. I guess it will depend on everyone’s schedule. Our core group of friends has grown a bit in the past year so there are 12 of us now (I think) as far as couples go. A few single people are still left… Maybe just one. lol

Anyway, we have decided to have these dinner parties. Each couple will host one with the theme of their choice. Well, maybe not every couple. Hosting dinner parties might not be everyone’s thing but eating dinner certainly is! First up a Mexican Fiesta theme. Boo Ya! This will be fun! On top of eating great food (which is enough reason to go) I will get to see ALL of my favorite people in one place. Who could ask for more?! Then next weekend I get to see (almost) everyone again for pumpkin carving, corn maze and dinner! Yes. Life is good. I love you October!

 More October goodness… I’m the maid-of-honor in a wedding. My brother and sister-in-law are having their baby shower. Jewelry parties. Pumpkin patches. Ahh… I seriously do love this time of year! The weather is so beautiful today. Sunny and bright with a little chill. It smells so good outside!

The Help

I am going to do my best to write an intelligent post here but my thoughts are so scrambled regarding this book/movie.

I first read the book The Help a couple of weeks ago. It was so good. Very well written and grabbed my intention immediately. It also made me feel incredibly disappointed in the white race. It was one of those books that with each scenario depicted you could actually visualize the scene in your head. At times it was difficult to read and made me cry. It was very detailed and very good. When I finished reading the book I just sat there thinking I am so glad I was not alive during that time. I hate racism that is present in our culture today. I cannot imagine living in those times and having the same view I have today. I would have been killed. I am so proud of “skeeter” for having the courage to try to make a difference.

Last night I went and saw the movie. It was also very good but there were some glaring differences. Some that didn’t change the outcome too much and others that really make you think, was that omitted for some political reason? Did they think it would be too much for the American public to see? I cried at the end of the movie just like I cried when reading the book. It makes me sad to think humans of any race ever treated each other that way. Worse is that it still happens today. Only we gear our hatred at Gays or Mexicans. They are the ones that get the brunt of racism/discrimination. 

I’m not really getting my point across here. I wish I had to words and the platform to make a difference in this world. I hate to think that my children will grow up in this world of hate that still exists. I will do my best to treat everyone equally. I will remember that each person is an individual and not the stereo type we have created for them. I wish that none of this ever happened. Of course if you read our history books it didn’t happen, right? I wish I had learned about all of this when I was in school. It’s funny how they only teach you what they want you to know. Our history is ugly. Heaven forbid “they” show that side. But, that is a whole other post.

Inspiration for the day!

I love pictures and I love this website! Weheartit.com

I love shoes!

I love glitter!!!

 

Cute!!

 
 

Hehe.. Don't fuck with me!

 

It's true.

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