I love this season!

It’s October 4th and I am happy for that. I love the crisp scent of the October air. There is no other smell like it. I love that I get to wear scarves every day. It is my FAVORITE accessory. I love leggings and boots with sweater dresses. Yes, this is my season!

Next weekend I get to spend an entire day with my favorite people. Carving pumpkins, eating dinner, going through a haunted corn maze (I love those!), than pretending to watch a scary movie. I do NOT love those and will do everything I can to get out of it somehow. I’m excited for our day of October themed fun! Then another dinner party sometime soon. Later this month I hear, Fall themed. The last one was the most fun I have had in I don’t even know how long. I seriously laughed my butt off all night. It was a hilarious evening. Then HALLOWEEN! Which I am usually very excited for but for some reason this year it isn’t blowing my skirt up. It is a lot of work and money to get dressed up every year and it’s hard to decide which parties we will go to when people usually plan them on the same day! Dang it.

Before I know it, it will be November. Then December and my niece will be born. I can’t wait for that! Then Christmas. My goodness… This season always fly’s by.

Now… Ugh… I am emotional. I have my monthly friend to blame for that I am sure. I just feel worn out, run down, and sad. I had the greatest weekend. Friday nights dinner party was seriously marvelous. Honestly the best time. But, I still can’t help but feel like life is never going to be easy now that the group has been divided. It is hard on everyone involved when a group function is thrown and people have to worry about who to invite or who will show up. It’s exhausting having to monitor what you say in order to avoid offending anyone. Or, more exhausting wasting your time wondering where you stand with mutual friends. I cannot tell you how much I wish things were the way they were 3 years ago. Aside from my amazing family which I of course would never trade for anything. I just wish friendships stayed the same or at least grew in the same direction. Why is it so hard to grow as a person and still hold onto friendships? It’s a rhetorical question really because I know the answer’s. At least the ones that apply to my own situation. But, it is still sad and frustrating to think about how life has changed. Then on the opposite side of the coin it just pisses me off to think about how things have happened and if I stay angry about the way I have been treated and the things that have been said about me I don’t get sad. But, it is exhausting to stay angry too. There is no easy answer. I wish I didn’t have feelings. I wish I wasnt emotional. But, I am female and it is in my genetic make-up. Ba-humbug! I am still so angry and at the same time I am still so hurt. But, I can’t talk about it because it has been talked to death. I can’t cry about it because I have no one to cry to.

Moral of this stupid post is I am having a bad day. I am angry and hurt. I want to go home, read my book and eat soup!

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dan Putnam
    Oct 04, 2011 @ 17:22:01

    Didn’t read the post. Saw the Futurama reference. Mental High-5. Now to read your post…

    Reply

  2. katiebuss
    Oct 05, 2011 @ 10:45:49

    Haha love the picture of course. But I didn’t know you didn’t like scary movies? I’ve got all the old ones on my instant-queue in Netflix to watch this month. The Wolf Man, Creature From The Black Lagoon, Night Of The Living Dead.. you can come over and watch those with me, they aren’t too scary 😉 hehe. I need ideas for Halloween anyway.

    Reply

  3. Wendy
    Oct 11, 2011 @ 23:29:13

    hmmmm halloween! So much fun and yet scary movies…so with you there! now if only I could find someone to go to watch them with my husband who loves them! Emotions…while sometimes annoying…. do mean we get to have those great feelings.. happy times, great times, fun times. Its worth it I think! I love you! Cant Wait to See you!!!!

    Reply

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