So much to say…

So little desire to share it with the world.

I want, I want, I want… It never ends. I want a bigger house. I want another baby. I want to be able to afford those things. I want to be a better friend. I want to be a better wife. I want to be a better mom. I want to do more to change this world for the better…

But, it’s just one passing day after another and nothing ever changes. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything done that I want to.

I’m tired of wondering how close I am to a person or thinking I should do more to save or rekindle a friendship. Some of the women I have loved most in my life have moved away. There was a point in my life where I thought every best friend I had would eventually move away. It almost happened again last year. I thought… Seriously?! Again. WTF… Luckily it didn’t happen. I think once you hit this age and you have found your mate (in your husband I hope) it’s just easier to confide in them and make them your best friend. They are always there whether they want to be or not. They will always support you and love you. There is no judgement on what you look like or what you eat or how you do your hair. They just love you for you. It becomes unhealthy to obsess about friendships. Life is just different now that we are all settled down and creating families. I’m happy… Most of the time and that is what matters most. I have stopped obsessing about the friendships that I don’t think are as good as they once were. It will work itself out. Now I obsess about a bigger house, a bigger mortgage, child care and how to afford it, and occasionally a creative bone in my body takes over and I just want to create art. I’m living a healthier life than I ever have. That includes the food I eat. Who knew I would ever love brocoli?!

Anyway… I have a lot more on my mind. But, like I said thinking those thoughts and sharing them with the world are two different things.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. katiebuss
    Jul 21, 2011 @ 16:10:18

    I, for one, most certainly do not like brocoli. Blech.

    Lol unfortunately, I don’t love many vegetables at all. Which makes my vegetarian-type diet hard. Sometimes I question my choices. Lol.


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