I’m slightly depressed. I don’t want to be. Because really my life is great. I have a wonderful husband who loves me, the best daughter in the world and a tight-knit group of great friends. But still… I’m depressed… I don’t like what I see in the mirror and even though I can admit it it’s still hard knowing your closest friends agree with you. Secretly they probably want me to stay the size I am because that’s how women are (awful) of course they would never admit that even to themselves. But I know. I know because the comments are made to my face about how I better hurry up and get hot again or how I need to get a good exercise routine down. Do friends think those comments actually help? I’m not one of those people with my head in the sand. I know what I look like, I see the pictures of what I used to look like. I know SOMETHING needs to be done in order to move towards the goal of “being hot again” but honestly… I don’t want to make the time or have the motivation to work that hard. Because it’s not as easy as dieting after you have had a baby.
I’m depressed about the world today. I hate reading about sex trafficking in my very own city! I hate reading about famous men pimping women out and basically getting away with it and plenty of supporters to boot. I hate knowing someone died on Hwy 99 just because they were crossing the street and tripped. I hate that there are so many mean people in this world. In fact 2 of my friends in the same week wrote a blog or posted on fb about how they too hated mean people. They affect us all even if indirectly. WHY are there so many terrible people in this world? And WHY do we let them out of prison?!
I’m depressed because I can’t make everyone happy and I can’t be as close to all my friends as I want to be. I’m depressed that my views on life and love and basically every other topic are so different from that of most of my friends. Not just one but many. If your views are so incredibly opposite on every topic it doesn’t make for fun conversations. I didn’t join a debate team in college for a reason. I don’t like arguing. I don’t want to have to argue my point to my closest friends… Over and over and over again. Which leads me back to why I’m not as close to all my friends as I would like to be.
Why is it that we can email all week-long, every day, all day and then when the weekend comes the contact is severed unless there is some big group get together. There is only one person I see regularly on weekends and that’s because our husbands are literally the BEST of friends. They have everything in common and agree on most things. They like to help each other just because and we often get together “just because” … So, that leaves us wives a lot of time to get closer and closer. But, again we don’t see eye to eye on most everything so what is there to talk about?
I need intelligent conversation in my life. I know for a fact that is missing. But, I want intelligent conversation with someone who doesn’t think they know everything, is open to other opinions and doesn’t make me feel stupid in the process. That’s a lot to ask I know.
And honestly I only have 2 people who read this blog so please you two don’t think any of this was geared at you because I’m not intending either of you to read this and say, “I think she is talking about me” because I’m not.
But do go look at this link. It’s a pretty neat article I found on mean people.