I’m a day early but…

Peyton is 5 months old. It’s hard for me to process actually. It is hard to believe that it has already been 5 months she has been in my world. Seems like yesterday that she was only 7 lbs and a squished up little face in my arms 24-7. I wish those days were still here. It’s true you know, when they say it goes by way too fast. It really does. She is 15 lbs and 24 inches long now. Before I know it she will be walking and talking and I will be trying to have another just so I can have a baby in the house again. I’ve heard that’s how it works. You just yearn for the baby stage again so you have another… Lord help me after two if I yearn for another that I have the smarts to tell myself NO!

When I was pregnant with Peyton I had all these ideas about how I wanted to raise her. I still do and I am set in my ways. Which can be hard since we are not a one parent household. Robert is very involved in parenting and helping wherever he is needed. But, that’s where I want it to stop. Does that sound shitty? I don’t mean for it to but like I said I have my ideas about how I want to parent. I always have. I want my children to grow up very cultured and well-behaved. I wanted them to put others first and understand that although their parents are not wealthy they are far better off then most of the world and they need to be grateful for what they have. I want to raise children that know the difference between right and wrong and choose right. This all sounds so idealistic when it’s put into words. Ugh…

Basically, I don’t want to spoil Peyton rotten with Christmas gifts every year. I was spoiled rotten every year and that is what I looked forward to every year. Is that what it should be about? I don’t want her grand parents going over board with gifts every year and that’s a fight Robert told me I will have to fight on my own. He thinks gifts is all it should be about for kids. I disagree. I want my kids to be grateful for family time and giving back to the community and helping those less fortunate. If I teach Peyton from the beginning that she will be spoiled with gifts and I take her shopping with me for everyone elses gifts I will lead her to believe that is all Christmas is about. A stressful time full of spending and empty gift giving.

I’m sure, absolutely positive there will be many obstacles I face as a mother. Many arguments I may have with Robert over what’s right or wrong for our daughter but ultimately I want it to be my decision. That’s how it has been since the beginning of time. The mother has always been the one to raise the children and the father has always been the one to bring home the dinner… Call me old fashion.


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